I was very recently made aware of the fact that I have a high IQ. An abnormally high IQ (That is Intelligence Quotient for anyone not familiar). And YES, I am aware of all the debates/controversy surrounding IQ testing, but, even accounting for questionable variation in my scoring...my brain is still functioning at a higher level than 95-98% of the population. Now, this being said, I am certainly not here to "woe is me" over my brain capacity. I do, however, want to make the public aware of some of the issues that people of high intelligence face.
IQ is measured on a Bell Curve Chart (shown below). Most people measure normal intelligence, the average being 100, with a variation of about 15 either way (85-115).
IQ ranging too far in either direction will obviously present many problems when interacting with others. Mental retardation begins with any number below 85. Imagine a person of average intelligence (we'll say 100) living in a world where he is surrounded by only people of about 65 IQ. Communication is difficult. Relationships are more like parent to child than peer to peer. The person of average intelligence is constantly having to break down their thoughts and ideas into concepts simple enough that the significantly lower intelligent person is capable of understanding. People with children can probably more easily relate to this concept. When you are around only children for long periods of time, as much as you love the kids, how much do you cherish your time with other adults?
Anyway, I have said all of this to kind of introduce the meaning behind this blog. Like I mentioned earlier, I just found all of this out about myself. I was certainly blindsided by this information, as anyone would be after learning something that so directly and significantly affects their everyday life and future. It certainly does explain a lot of things that have happened in my life. My whole life, I have felt that I am smarter than everyone else around me. Not in an arrogant, uppity way, but in a very odd, befuddling sort of way. People are generally transparent to me. I will elaborate more on that in another post. My personal relationships have been dumpster-fire-hot-messes. I overthink EVERYTHING. I cannot make my brain stop. I have struggled with insomnia, substance abuse, identity, and restlessness my whole life. There are so many personal and interpersonal issues in having a brain that functions at a different level than the vast majority of the population. Since this is all very new to me, I thought it would be helpful for me to create an outlet for myself as I discover more about myself and figure out just where I fit in this crazy world (if I do). Is there hope for people of higher intelligence?? Realistic hope, not feel-good, warm-fuzzy, false (although well-meaning) positivity. Also, maybe in my findings, I will discover a way to be in a genuine, loving relationship...or at least maybe go on a date? (As you will find out later, dates are the bane of my existence, and I overthink every man I encounter, usually dismissing him from possibility of a future with me within the first 5 minutes, wildly frustrating my closest friends)
SO, I work part time with children, I am in school (online University) full time, and I am always looking for side work to generate residual income. I have very recently cut about 99% of the people from my circle of "friends", greatly to my benefit. I am rediscovering the world as a sober young adult, seriously vested in her own success and well being. Not that I am not tempted to throw on my stilettos, down a couple bottles of wine (yes, bottles), and blow all my money dancing the night away in some dingy nightclub sometimes...
but...I will cross that bridge when I get there...and I will probably blog about it too. So, anyway, introduction over. I would apologize for talking about myself so much, but I honestly do not assume anyone is still reading anyway.
Cheers to you if you are, and here's to discovering life: single, intelligent, and predominantly sober.
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